Silence
by KlaineSnowflakes
Summary: Kurt is fed up with Blaine always missing date night. In this story, Kurt finally explodes on Blaine and breaks his heart. Kurt then leaves and threatens to never come back. This brings back suicidal thoughts to Blaine and everything goes wrong from there. (Trigger Warning)
1. Silence: Chapter 1

Author's Note: I've been thinking about writing this story for a long time and I finally decided to so I hope you guys like it! Don't be afraid to leave a little review on how you think I did or possibly give me a prompt. Thanks for reading!

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Kurt begins to set the table at 7 pm, carefully laying out the dinner he had prepared just minutes earlier, Blaine's favorite. It was date night, but Kurt and Blaine decided not to go out anywhere because they both had work early in the morning.

An hour goes by, and there's no sign of Blaine. Kurt tried texting him and calling him several times and then gave up, sighing in defeat. He sat in the dim light of their kitchen as worst case scenarios clouded his mind. _What if he got into a car accident? What if he's hurt? What if he's lost somewhere?_ As his next thought began to penetrate his brain, his heart clenched painfully… _what if he's cheating on me again?_ Sure it had been years, but the wound still remained fresh and ached every time the memory crept upon him. Kurt shook his head in denial and wiped away tears that he hadn't realized had fallen. The food was completely cold at this point, but Kurt was hungry, so he decided to warm his portion back up and eat in silence.

After he finished, he sat down at the table and waited. And waited.

It was past 10:45 when Blaine finally arrived. He came through the door immediately apologizing and breathlessly explaining himself.

"Kurt, I'm so, so, so sorry I missed our date. Work went really late and then traffic was a bitch and I didn't have any cell service and I was freaking out and I'm just so sorry but I'm here now. We can still cuddle up and watch a movie together or-"

"Shut up." Kurt mumbled emotionlessly.

"…What?" Blaine was confused and walked over to where Kurt was sitting. "Sweetie, I'm sorry." He started to put his hand on Kurt's shoulder but Kurt stopped him.

"Don't. Don't touch me and don't try to apologize because I know it's all bullshit. Tonight makes four missed date nights this month. Four! I'm absolutely sick of it!"

"I'm really sorr-" Blaine started but was cut off again.

"I said don't. You know what? I'm not going to take this anymore. Do you know what I did tonight?" Blaine was still in shock so he sat in silence. He wasn't expecting this at all. After a few seconds, Kurt continued. "Blaine, I was excited. I made us dinner, I set the table, and then I waited in complete silence. You left me alone. You weren't just a few minutes late, _Blaine_ , you were THREE HOURS AND FOURTY-FIVE MINUTES LATE. I was so worried. I thought you were hurt! And did you really think I would buy your little story about traffic after what you did with Eli?"

Blaine's stomach twisted at the mention of his name. "…But…I thought you trusted me now, Kurt. I thought we got through that together. I just-I really thought you trusted me…" His voice was small and sad.

"Well now I can't! You've spent too many nights 'working late' and leaving me by myself. We live in the same house, but I'm so lonely, Blaine. I'm so lonely. And it's not my fault you had to be a worthless slut in the first place!" Words painfully ripped from his throat. Both Kurt and Blaine's breath hitched at his last few words. Blaine winced and tears gathered in his eyes. Kurt immediately considered taking it back, but felt too hurt to apologize that soon. "I'm sleeping at Rachel's tonight. Don't expect me back tomorrow." That was all he said as he walked out the door.

"Kurt, please, stop, I'm sorry, I-please calm down and forgive me. Please, Kurt." Blaine pleaded as hot tears streamed down his face.

Kurt walked out the door without saying a word.

Blaine wiped at his face while he watched Kurt's car pull out of the driveway. Then came the quiet. The deafening quiet. The entire house was still, Blaine was the one shaking. Suddenly the piercing silence became too much and Blaine collapsed to the floor in sobs, knowing this was all his fault. He choked on air as he struggled to come to terms with what was happening. Kurt wasn't coming back. Tears streamed wildly down his face and his body shook with sobs. It took a long time for his breathing to become steadier. Once he was calm, he felt completely empty. He laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Numbness overcame him as if he was being slowly suffocated. There were no more tears left inside of him. Suddenly, a voice that he hadn't heard in years whispered to him.

 ** _Kill yourself. You know this is your fault. It's not like anyone would care, you've already pushed everyone away._**


	2. Silence: Chapter 2

Blaine walked numbly up the stairs with dry tears on his face and made his way to his room where he found a vase of flowers that Kurt had given him not too long ago on their anniversary. He reached for it, hesitated for a moment, and then smashed it on the floor. Somehow, his body must have found more tears to cry because his face was wet again as he grabbed one of the larger glass shards. " _I'm sorry, Kurt."_ He found himself whispering repeatedly as he sunk to the floor. He closed his eyes and looked up as his breathing became heavier and heavier until suddenly he found release. He looked down and saw a long, deep, vertical cut on his left arm. There was a moment of pure peace before the gravity of the situation hit him like a slap in the face. There was blood _everywhere._ This cut was deep. _Really deep._ _Too deep._ Almost down to bone. Blaine started to feel overwhelmingly dizzy. " _This is bad,"_ Blaine whispered to himself. He panicked and grabbed his phone that was in his pocket. He quickly decided to call Tina, she hadn't abandoned him yet. The phone rang for several painfully long seconds before someone picked up.

"Blaine? It's midnight." Her voice was full of sleep.

"Tina? I need help. I-I just, Kurt and I had a fight and he said he wasn't coming back and a-nd then it got really quiet, like _really quiet_ and it's all my fault and I, I-" Blaine's thoughts became foggy as he lost more blood.

"Blaine I can't understand you, what's wrong? What happened?" Her words were filled with concern and she sounded more awake now.

"I need help, please I need you to come help me…"

"Where are you?" Tina pressed.

"I'm in my room at my house…I-oh god, there's so much blood." He whispered the last sentence weakly.

"Blood? What the hell Blaine just tell me what happened I'm already on my way. Stay on the phone with me, alright?" She sounded panicked.

"I was just so numb…and the silence-oh, god the silence-it was just all too much and I'm-I'm sorry…I tried to kill myself, I cut so deep, Tina, I-I just…I'm sorry. I'm…so scared." He could hear her sobbing on the other end of the line as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Tina pulled into his driveway and got in through the door that Kurt left unlocked.

"Blaine? Blaine I'm here where are you?" She yelled across the house as she climbed the stairs two steps at a time. She found Blaine half-conscious and pale sitting in a pool of blood. "Oh, my _god._ Blaine wake up I'm calling 9-1-1 stay awake, okay? I'm sorry Blaine." She pulled him into an embrace and sobbed into his chest.

Blaine took a second glance at his arm and suddenly his already pale face became even whiter. "Tina…..I don' feel good..."

"Do you think you'll throw up?" She asked. He nodded and then turned his head to the side. Tina held him up as he vomited on the floor twice.

"Oh, okay sweetie…everything's gonna be okay…" But Tina knew nothing was okay night now. This was very, very bad. When Blaine was finished, she sat him upright and dialed 9-1-1 as quickly as possible.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The operator answered.

"I-I'm here with my friend who just attempted suicide, he has a very deep vertical cut that's about 3 inches long on his arm and oh god he's already l-lost so much blood I don't know what to do I just-" Tina's body racked with sobs as she held Blaine's face and tried her best to keep him awake.

"Okay, ma'am, remain calm for me, what are your names?"

"I'm Tina Cohen-Chang and my friend is Blaine Anderson." As she said his name, she grasped his hand and intertwined it with hers. "Stay with me honey." He whispered.

"Alright Tina, can you tell me where you're at right now?"

"2059 Cedar Avenue. Please hurry. There's blood everywhere. How do I stop the blood?" Tina was practically screaming at this point.

"Apply lots of pressure to the wound with a clothing garment or towel until the paramedics get there. An ambulance is on its way, ma'am, just try your best to remain calm for your friend. Is Blaine still conscious?" Tina took a deep breath before she continued.

"Barely. He's really pale and he threw up twice." As if on cue, Blaine gagged and leaned to his side where he threw up again. "Three times. And he's not even talking to me anymore." She rubbed his back and he whimpered quietly.

"Try asking him some questions to see if he responds, ma'am." The operator suggested.

Tina wiped at her face and looked Blaine in the eyes. "Blaine, how are you feeling? Can you tell me anything, just…anything?" Blaine only groaned slightly in response and closed his eyes. "No, Blaine don't you fall asleep on me, the paramedics are almost here...god, I should have helped you somehow…" He re-opened his eyes but they were glazed over and what made this even worse was the fact that he couldn't focus on Tina. It was like he was already gone. She kept pressure on the wound like she was told to and uncontrollably cried on Blaine's chest until the paramedics showed up and carried his lifeless body away. Tina immediately knew she had to call Kurt, no matter how much he and Blaine fought earlier.


	3. Silence: Chapter 3

Kurt groaned angrily at the sound of his phone ringing. _I have work in the morning so if this is Blaine I swear I'm gonna break something._ He rolled over and squinted at the bright screen to see that it was Tina. _Tina? What the hell?_ He figured it had to be something worth answering the phone, so he did.

"Tina? It's almost one in the morning. What's wrong?" His voice was annoyed and raspy from sleep.

"What happened between you and Blaine? He said you guys fought?" Her voice sounded raw from tears.

"Oh, god, is this about him? Did he put you up to this? Because I'm done with him, I don't need someone to tell me to take him back. Goodnight, Tina." He was just about to end the call when he heard her franticly begging him not to.

"No, no! Kurt don't hang up please, that's not why I'm calling you, you need to come to the hospital down the road right now. Blaine's really hurt. He's _really hurt._ I'm not joking at all." A sob echoed through the phone and Kurt couldn't keep his heart from dropping into his stomach.

"…How hurt?" His voice was small. There was a moment of silence with no response, only the sound of crying on the other line. "Tina… _how hurt is he?_ " _This has to be a joke._

"…He tried to kill himself, Kurt." Kurt's blood froze and the room began spinning. "He cut his arm way too deep. H-he lost a lot of blood and he was unconscious when the paramedics took him away. He might not make it…I'm sorry." Her sobbing was uncontrollable at this point. Kurt was still in shock and sat at the end of the bed, gripping the sheets so hard that his knuckles were white.

He wanted to scream, but he had no voice. He wanted to cry, but no tears came. He could only stiffly stand up and grab his keys as he left Rachel's apartment. "I'm coming, Tina," was all he could say.

As he walked out, he woke Rachel up accidently. Dammit. "Kurt? Where are you going?" Suddenly she noticed his face was pale and had no expression. "What happened…?"

He didn't turn to face her, but he paused while opening the door to leave. "Blaine tried to kill himself after I left." His voice was only a whisper, empty and deprived of emotion.

She was silent at first. What is it about silence that is so much worse than words? "Oh my _god, Kurt._ I'm coming with you ** _._** I-I'm _so sorry."_ The urgency was clear in her voice and movements as she rushed out the door with Kurt.

The car ride was quiet except for the loud sobs coming from Rachel. Guilt panged in Kurt's chest painfully, but his eyes remained dry, somehow. A terrified and nervous energy hung in the air constantly.

When they arrived at the hospital, Tina collapsed onto Rachel and Kurt simply walked up to the desk. "Where's my…where's my husband, Blaine Anderson? Where can I see him? I need to talk to him…to apologize…" His voice was flat and his mind was still slow from shock.

"Sir, I don't think you understand the seriousness of your husband's condition at the moment. His heart stopped twice, I'm sorry, but you aren't allowed to see him I'm afraid." Her voice was somber but she remained professional. As soon as Kurt heard her, reality punched him in the stomach.

 _His heart stopped twice._

His tears finally came all at once. He collapsed into Rachel's arms and sobbed violently. His whole body shook and his brain was running a million miles per hour. His heart felt like someone scooped it out and took a chainsaw to it. _This is all my fault,_ he thought, _I was way too hard on him. If he dies, it's all…my fault._ At first, he didn't remember what he said earlier that night and then suddenly his own words echoed in his mind.

" ** _It's not my fault you had to be a worthless slut in the first place!"_**

He sobbed more violently and then looked Rachel straight in the face. "I did this to him, I…I made him feel w-worthless…he'll never forgive me if he lives and I'll never forgive myself if he doesn't. He's not worthless at all, he's everything to me…why am I such an idiot, oh my god." Kurt choked on sobs and fought desperately for oxygen as his lungs threatened to collapse.


	4. Silence: Chapter 4

After a while, Kurt sat silently crying in the waiting room, refusing to listen to anyone that said this wasn't his fault. He watched as Tina sat and cried and Rachel paced around the room crying as well. He forgave everything Blaine has ever done and, even though he's not religious, he prayed that God will have mercy on him. He then waited anxiously for news to arrive about Blaine. He felt trapped in guilt, it was drowning him, like nothing could save him from what he had done.

Half an hour later, a doctor approached them. "Are you Blaine Anderson's friends and family?" Everyone nodded quickly and waited for him to continue. "Blaine's injury is serious, but he is stable at the moment. The painkillers we gave him knocked him out, so he's been sleeping. Of course we are going to have to speak to him about how to deal with suicide attempts, but family is now allowed in his room, one at a time." He motioned for Tina to come with him and Kurt almost screamed in protest. Tina cut him off before he could say anything and walked over to him.

She whispered in his ear, "I told them I was his sister, they didn't even question it. I'm sorry and I know you want to see him but I really think it would be too much for him to wake up to you right now. It might upset him." Kurt wanted to protest again but he knew she was right. He simply closed his mouth and nodded. She walked away but stopped when she heard Kurt's voice calling her.

"Tina?...Thank you so much for being there for him. It means so much to me." Tina nodded and followed the doctor to Blaine's room.

She heard a beeping monitor and looked around the corner to see tubes coming out of Blaine in several places. It was terrifying, but definitely not as terrifying as discovering him sitting in a pool of his own blood earlier that night. The doctor left them alone and Tina walked over to the side of his bed. He looked so peaceful. She slipped her hand under his and held it as she used her other hand to brush his dark curls off of his forehead.

"Blaine? Can you hear me?" She spoke as calmly as she possibly could. When there was no response, she tried again. "Blaine, if you can hear me I want you to try to wake up, okay? There's some people who really want to see you out there in the other room." He moved his head slightly and began to open his eyes. "Hey, Blaine…how are you feeling?" Tina tried to sound as soothing as possible.

"Mmm…Kurt? Is that you?" Blaine groaned and his voice was raspy from disuse.

Tina's heart broke a little when she heard him speak. "No, honey, it's Tina. Are you feeling a little better?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess. What happened…?" Tina paused, not knowing how to respond. Suddenly, she didn't have to. Blaine gasped quietly and his face was full of regret as he whispered, "Oh my god, I tried to kill myself, didn't I?" Tears formed in his eyes and Tina panicked.

"Oh, Blaine, don't cry please. Please. You're okay now, you're safe. You're not alone. I'm here, Rachel's here,-" Blaine cut her off.

"Is Kurt here…?" He sounded empty almost, and it only broke Tina's heart more.

"Of course." Tina gave him a weak smile, hoping that was the answer he wanted.

"Is he…um…is he still mad at me?" His voice was innocent like that of a child's. His words were overflowing with regret and sadness. Tina wanted to punch Kurt right then and there when she saw the fear in Blaine's eyes.

"No, honey, not at all. You didn't do anything wrong, Blaine. Kurt wants to see you and he wants to apologize, he's been freaking out all night. He knows what he said was very wrong and he feels more terrible than you could imagine. He totally understands if you don't want to see him, though." She tried to explain the situation as clearly as possible.

"Of course I want to see him, it's my fault he got mad in the first place, and I want to apologize to him." Blaine was weak and leaned into Tina's touch when she put a hand to his cheek.

"Nothing is your fault, Blaine. Okay? Nothing. Don't be sorry for anything." She noticed Blaine's eyelids were drooping a little bit and remembered the medicine. "I should probably let you sleep before I bring more people in here, you look tired."

"No, no. I'm not tired. I wanna see Kurt…are my parents here?" Tina's heart dropped when she realized they weren't. The silence from Tina was enough to give Blaine an answer. "Oh." He looked down at the floor and Tina knew she had to say something.

"I'm sure they just didn't get the call. They're really far away and you know how screwy long distance calls can be. I'm sure they would have come if they got the call." Blaine just shook his head and looked back at Tina.

"No, it's okay, I didn't really expect them to care that much, they rarely do." Tina didn't even know what to say back to that.

"Um, Cooper's on his way. He flew down immediately when he got the call." She tried to help turn the situation around. Blaine's eyes lit up a bit and he smiled weakly. "He really, really cares about you, you know that? No matter how hard he is on you sometimes he really does love you a lot." Blaine smiled again and just nodded. "Do you want me to get Kurt now?" She said as silence began to creep up on them.

"Yes, please." Tina gave him one last smile.

"Hey, I love you and I'm really glad you're okay. And if you ever, _ever_ , feel like you might hurt yourself again, call me and I'll come help you, alright? I'm always here for you." Blaine simply gave her a sad smile and nodded again.

"Love you too." He said as she walked out of the room.


	5. Silence: Chapter 5

Tina made her way back to the waiting room and Kurt immediately walked up to her. "What happened? Is he okay? What did he say about everything?" He looked panicked.

"He's a lot better than when I saw him last. He really wants to see you but he thinks you might still be mad at him. Try to keep him from thinking about the fact that his parents didn't show up…just be gentle, okay?" Kurt nodded as tears began to resurface and he whispered another 'thank you' to her before walking to Blaine's room.

Kurt was nervous, like _really_ nervous while making his way to room 206. He opened the door and saw exactly what Tina saw. Tubes, everywhere. They had taken some out since Blaine woke up but there were still way too many for comfort. Kurt stopped when he saw that Blaine was looking down at the bandages on his arm with tears in his eyes. He then whispered something that made Kurt want to break down all over again.

"So worthless…"

Immediately, Kurt interrupted him. "You are _not_ worthless, Blaine." Blaine's head shot up, and he looked startled. "Don't you ever think you are just because I went on a stupid little rant. You are everything to me. I wasn't thinking at all when I said that. I need you, I will always need you. I can't imagine what I would have done if you had died tonight. God, Blaine, I love you so much and I can't believe I almost lost you." Tears streamed down Blaine's face as he listened and Kurt wiped them away.

"I'm sorry I scared you, I just-I felt like there was nobody in my life anymore and I thought I pushed you away forever. The silence in the house after you left just suffocated me and I'm sorry I've been such a horrible husband lately, I-I love you too and I never want to feel like that again, I promise I'll be better." Now it was Kurt's turn to cry while listening because he didn't know just how alone Blaine felt this whole time.

"You are never alone, you will always have me, okay? I'm here now and I'm never leaving you ever again. If you ever think you want to do this again please come talk to me. Sweetheart, I don't want you to be sad anymore, you have to tell me these things. They told me your heart stopped twice, Blaine, I was horrified." Blaine nodded and apologized again. Kurt looked Blaine in the eyes and the quiet that overcame them was a peaceful quiet, not an uncomfortable one. He then slowly leaned down and closed the gap between them. Their lips touched and they kissed, it was a kiss full of love and not of lust. It communicated just how much they need each other alive. Blaine scooted over and Kurt laid down next to him and put his head on Blaine's chest. As he heard the steady beating of Blaine's heart, he became even more grateful that he was alive. All the stress and nervousness that filled Kurt's soul before had melted away and was replaced with pure peace and happiness in that moment while Blaine held him. "Never leave me." He whispered.

"I won't. I promise. I love you more than anything." Blaine calmly assured.

"I love you too." Kurt hummed. "And nothing will ever change that."

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Author's Note: So that's it! Thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave a review or give prompt ideas. I'm always open to them!


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